Who am I?  What is my purpose on this planet?  Is there a purpose or am I just the product of male/female first love copulation?  Am I to rise up from the ashes of unknown potential into a fully realized being or am I to return to the ashes of death with my song, my potential, unsung?

From seedling to full fruition, how does it happen?  How did the flowers I planted in my garden come to be?  How does a human being life’s mission come to be?  Who or what circumstances plant the seed and who or what circumstances water/nurture the seed?  Will the weeds of life choke out the sun’s light, water’s life giving sustenance and the wind’s gentle attempts at keeping the seed in the currents of the changing seasons?

During my formative years and way into adulthood no one ever told me I was a seed bearing a special cargo; no one ever told me I had potential; no one ever told me to love myself no matter what; nor did any one tell me the universe is patiently waiting for me to wake up and tap into it’s divine intention for my life. No one ever told simple little me that there’s more to life than meets the eye.

I floated through my school years not knowing what I wanted to be much less having the foggiest idea about myself.  Truth be told, I hated school with a passion.  I entered the working world solely to have an income.  I didn’t know my soul would strive if I loved my work.  Definitely didn’t know more people died of a heart attack on Mondays vs. any other day of the week.

Hmmmm… time to invest in a defibrillator?

While going through the grinds of life and living from pay cheque to pay cheque, the one constant was my sincere desire to help other people.  In school I befriended those that others laughed at.  I stood proud with the so-called “undesirables” as I saw them as no less human than myself.

Compassion and empathy are alien words in the world that promotes the following mantras:

You must have a good education to make it

You need to be better than everyone else

You need to face reality and

You need to sell your skills/assets to the corporate world.

Compassion and empathy do not impact the Dow Jones nor do they crash the market or buy yachts and villas in St. Bart’s.

Plugging along I prayed constantly for a better paying job which eventually came, but it did nothing to quiet the inner gnawing:

1) what is my life’s purpose?

2) Why was I born?

3) Am I destined to a life of just working and paying bills?

So I started a new prayer: God why am I here? Interestingly enough, looking back through the lens of hind sight, the answer came before the thought occurred to pray for my life’s purpose.

I cannot recall the exact year, but somewhere in the mid 90’s I got a job selling health club memberships.  It wasn’t the greatest pay, but it was better than what I was making before.  The sales manger attended a Tony Robbins seminar and came back telling us he walked on hot coal.  I was young and naive yet I sat there wondering within myself what kind of whacky tobacco the man had smoked.

Anyway, he told me all about Tony Robbins/Zig Ziglar/Norman Vincent Peale etc.  I started to read and listen to their audio recordings.  The seed of looking within myself to finding out who I was was planted. The concept of alternative thinking was inseminated.

Over the years, I went on to read more self help books & listened to recordings from various teachers on and off. Nothing changed. Thus, the gnawing took up permanent residence and began threatening eviction of any scrap of joy and hope I held.  The eviction noticed started to take a physical toll.  There were days when it took every ounce of strength to put one foot in front of the other.  I started praying again.

One rather frustrating day I told a co-worker of my distress and she mentioned something about Abraham’s teaching on resistance.  I knew about Abraham and had come cassette tapes somewhere at home.  In an effort to make it through the working day without losing my sanity I started listening to Abraham and other teachers on You Tube.  The discarded seedlings of searching for self to finding self and the concept of replacing “stinking thinking” with positive thoughts began to stir.  Hope yawned into a lazy awakening.  Purpose began to shake off the shroud that had kept it hidden.  Intuition began whispering to my inner being.  The Universe began sending nuggets of confirmation that I am on the right path, that this IS the way to self.  “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Norman Vincent Peale

Today I stand on feet that are still wobbly, but I stand knowing “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Zig Ziglar. I stand knowing compassion and empathy have morphed into a mission that will give birth to a nation of kids that will rise up out of starvation into their full potential. A mission to be an ambassador for change for orphans and disadvantaged children around the world and a mission to embrace each child with unconditional love and prayer. I want that love to seep through the pores of their being.

Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman Vincent Peale